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Connection

1 - Friendship​

Invest in great friendships.

  • Join me: "I'm doing ABC if you want to join me."

  • Cold Reads: Keep things interesting. Transform questions into playful statements. For example, instead of saying, "Where are you from?" say "You look like a Cali girl". Use cold reads (random, interesting observations) to have a more playful conversation.

  • Curiosity: Ask lots of questions. Make your questions interesting.

  • Smaller Groups: Opt for smaller groups to encourage active participation and deeper connections.

  • Consistency: Regularly invite people to join activities, creating a consistent rhythm for social interactions.

  • Liming: Embrace "liming" — simply existing in someone else's presence without the need for structured activities.

  • Gifts: Give thoughtful gifts.

  • Roles:

    • Listener: You tell a story, I listen and support.
    • Solver: You tell a story, I problem solve.

  • Cooloff rule: Don't work through things when heated. Instead back up and revisit in "X hours".

  • Hugs: Use "morning hugs" and "hand hugs".

  • Yes and: Use "yes and" to build people up.

  • Coworking: Cowork with others. IMPORTANT.

  • Meals: Eat meals with others.

  • Hangs:

    • Activities
      • Board/card games
      • Pool
      • Mini golf
      • Bowling/arcade
      • Climbing
      • Running
      • Museum
      • Hike/walk
      • Nature bath
      • Dance
      • Bookstore browse
      • Photography
      • Drawing
      • Thrifting
      • Volunteering
      • Chavruta/learning
      • Song
      • Writing
    • Food
      • Dinner
      • Dessert
      • Tea
    • Entertainment
      • Podcasts
      • YouTube
      • Movie
      • TV
      • Live stand up comedy
      • Live music
    • Events

  • Socials: Recurring rooms where the friends come to you.

    • Run club
    • Game club
    • Jewish events

  • Paritful: Host "parties" (hangs where people you like can chill together). See send_partiful_text_blast.py

  • Festivals: See festivals.md

  • Voice Notes: Use voice notes (best of both worlds: easy to record + easy to listen to/read).

2 - Romance​

Invest in romance.

  • Family: Date with building a family in mind. Ask real questions early (e.g. how do you want to raise your kids?).

  • Friendship: Friendship is a prereq for romance. Only date your friends.

  • Mensch: Treat the guy/girl the way you'd want your brother/sister to be treated in a relationship.

  • Physical intimacy: Minimize physical intimacy until there is a shared sense of commitment. Leverage sexual energy to build connection, not to indulge.

  • Transmutation: Avoid shmutz and fapping. Use sexual energy to build (sex transmutation).

  • Modesty: Ensure relationships with the opposite sex are bounded.

  • Cuddling: See Cuddling Positions.

  • Courting: Pursue with enthusiasm and excitement - hell yes energy. If she can't match, she isn't the one.

  • Dating

    • Talking
      • Drinks
      • Ice cream
      • Walk
      • Light bite

3 - God​

Connect with God.

  • Liturgy: Use formulated liturgy to channel and strengthen your relationship with God (e.g. asher yatzar in Jewish prayer).

  • Gratitude: Express gratitude towards God throughout the day.

  • Shuckling: Allow your body to move freely as an expression of focus.

  • Basics: The most basic prayer is "Please Hashem, help me be a mensch."

4 - Parenting​

Raise good kids.